Novus Opiate Seclorum

Section W: “Miscellaneous”

W1. Has TOOL ever won a Grammy?

Indeed, the band has been recognized by the recording industry:

In 1997, “Stinkfist” was nominated for Best Music Video, but lost. Also in 1997, “Ænema” won for Best Metal Performance. 

In 2001, “Schism” won for Best Metal Performance.

In 2006,  “Vicarious” was nominated for Best Hard Rock Performance, but lost. 

In 2007, “The Pot” was nominated for Best Hard Rock Performance, but lost. 

In 2020, “7empest” was nominated for Best Metal Performance and won. 

In other words, TOOL were nominated a total of 9 times, won 3 times and lost 6 times.


W2. What are these April Fool’s pranks I keep hearing about?

As mentioned before, TOOL are pranksters. They honestly don’t get enough credit for their sense of humor. The vast majority of TOOL’s pranks involved TDN, as you will see. For as many as was possible, a link to the original “prank” is included here. 

1997: The first one that started it all, and has since become a nearly-every-year tradition: TDN had posted a “news” post indicating that the band were involved in a terrible bus accident while on tour in Australia. According to the post, 3 of them were in critical condition. Even MTV had picked up on it and reported it! To see the original post, go here:

1998: For this one, it didn’t directly involve the band, but rather TDN’s original site. According to the “news” post, the servers had crashed which meant nearly everything known about the band (at the time, not much was known about them at all) was lost to the ethers of nothingness. 

1999: This one was a two-for. The first part, TDN claimed to have heard two “new songs”- which didn’t actually exist. The second involved Paul which claimed he was trying to get more royalties out of Opiate.

2000: This one claimed that the band were doing an exclusive live show at a Tower Records store.

2001: Danny had left the band.

2002: Apparently the boys had a new EP in the works, titled Gammon.

2005: The year Maynard “found Jesus.”

2006: Just before 10,000 Days was released, there was to be 4 listening parties.

2015: The boys found their leaked music and accused another band of ripping them off.

2017: Sammy Hagar replaces Maynard.

2018: Tool releases a new song… of absolute silence.

2018, also: Adam Jones released a teaser video to his Instagram of what appeared to be sort of a collage that ended abruptly after the first, single, guitar note. (Thanks for reminding me, Maceij Jonczyk!)

2019: The boys release another new song, 37 minutes of… crickets. Literally.

W3. I’ve heard that there is a mural dedicated to TOOL?

Yes, there is a mural of the Lateralus inspired artwork on the side of a building directly across the street from a Greyhound bus station in Downtown Los Angeles, address: 1701 East 7th Street.

W4. I was watching older shows on YouTube and came across this one where a large lady was on stage dancing. Who is she?

This was the now-infamous Scientology show, and the woman was Laurie Arden – the same woman as seen in the Undertow artwork. (Richard Keenan, Facebook post; 14 May 2020)

W5.  I’ve heard that TOOL went to space?

The band themselves have not, at least not in person. Their music has, however. In February 2010, Flight Day 9, NASA mission STS-130 heard “Parabola” as their wake-up call as requested by Mission Specialist Robert Behnken. 

W6. Are there any parodies to any of TOOL’s songs?

Here is a paradox of “Schism”, as written by Jessenia King, titled “I know the Pizzas Fit”:

“I know the pizzas fit. 

Cuz I watched them cook today  Hard-baked and smoldering, crispy crust with cheese dripping

Pepperoni juxtaposed with tomato sauce is said to be a flavor explosion

The papa john’s delivery slows, testing our communication

No fault, none to blame, it doesn’t mean I don’t desire

To burn my finger, and blame the oven, watch the soft drink topple over

The heat, the fuel, the fire that has burned a hole into the dough

We cannot seem to eat this much

Cancel our lunch reservation

The poetry that comes

And the slicing Is worth it

Anchovies in the dissonance

There was a time that the pizzas fit, ‘cos I saw them cook today

Hard-baked and smoldering, reheated by our microwaving

I’ve done the math enough to know

The dangers of our overcooking

Doomed to hunger unless we go

And strengthen our pizza informatiooon

Cold pizza has

A tendency to

Atrophy any

Leftover salad

Italian rolls, you mutter?

Italian rolls with butterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I know the pizzas fit”